The Buddha taught that when we live a life of integrity, our character and virtue protect us from unfounded curses or criticisms. These negative energies hold no power over us because our virtue is strong. When we live rightly, we don’t need to fear baseless criticism or the judgment of others. Instead, the key is to live according to our values and let our actions speak for themselves.
The Buddha’s Example: Not Reacting to Praise or Criticism
There’s a story where the Buddha was walking down the road when a teacher standing by the roadside began to criticize him, saying many negative things. Meanwhile, the Buddha’s disciples were praising him. Yet, the Buddha remained undisturbed by either reaction. When he returned to the monastery, his disciples asked him, “How did you remain calm when one person praised you, and another criticized you?”
The Buddha replied,
“When I hear praise, I don’t immediately rejoice. I must first consider whether it is true or not. If the praise is not accurate, it can harm me. Similarly, when I hear criticism, I don’t immediately feel upset. I must consider whether the criticism is valid. If it is, I must reflect and learn from it.”
The Wisdom of Confucius: The Role of Criticism and Praise
Confucius also shared wisdom about praise and criticism: “The person who criticizes you is your teacher, while the one who praises you rightly is your friend. But if someone continually praises you when you are in the wrong, they are your enemy because they encourage your ego and pride, which leads you further away from truth.”
This teaching reminds us that criticism can be a form of guidance and a chance for growth. If we are wrong, we should embrace the opportunity to learn from our mistakes. Praise, if not true, can inflate our ego and make us blind to our faults. Therefore, it’s essential to receive both praise and criticism with discernment.
The Danger of Fearing Criticism
When we fear the opinions of others, it reflects a lack of inner stability. People who have too much free time may sit and gossip or criticize, but this should not concern us. We should not live in fear of their words. The Buddha also taught that when we live with integrity, we should be unaffected by the opinions of others. However, this doesn’t mean we ignore feedback altogether. We should be open to constructive criticism and use it as a tool for personal growth.
Repentance and Mindfulness in Handling Criticism
When we face criticism, it is important to engage in sám hối (repentance) and mindfulness. Repentance is not only about acknowledging our mistakes but also about purifying our minds to prevent future harm. By doing so, we can understand the validity of the criticism and improve ourselves. Mindfulness allows us to approach each situation with clarity and calm, helping us respond appropriately rather than react impulsively.
In life, we often face injustice or feel misunderstood. The Buddha’s teachings encourage us to reflect on the root causes of our suffering and to embrace the process of sám hối (repentance) to cleanse our minds. When we experience suffering, whether it be illness or mistakes, we realize who truly loves and cares for us. It’s in these moments of hardship that we see who is willing to stand by us and offer care, much like the Buddha’s unwavering calm in the face of both praise and criticism.
We must also understand that we don’t always need to defend ourselves when facing accusations or grievances. When someone unjustly criticizes or misunderstands us, explaining ourselves in haste may not help. If the person is open to hearing the truth, we can calmly present our side. However, if the person is determined to accuse us without reason, explaining further will only escalate the situation. This is why patience and mindfulness are essential in such circumstances.
Living with Integrity, Wisdom, and Compassion
Ultimately, the path is not about avoiding criticism or only seeking praise, but about living with integrity, wisdom, and compassion. Whether praised or criticized, we must remain centered and mindful. The Buddha’s teachings guide us to reflect on our actions, learn from our mistakes, and continue walking the path of self-transformation. When we live mindfully, with a clear understanding of our intentions, we can face the challenges of life with peace and confidence.
By embracing the teachings of repentance, mindfulness, and humility, we not only improve ourselves but also create a ripple of positivity and understanding in the world. This is how we resolve conflicts and misunderstandings, and ultimately live a life free from the shackles of ego, fear, and resentment.
Lesson by Venerable Thích Pháp Hoà