The Buddha taught that there are three types of offspring based on their behavior and how they respond to their parents’ guidance. Understanding these types can offer us insight into the nature of our relationships with our offspring and help us recognize the karmic influences that shape their actions.
The Three Types of Offspring
Offspring Who Follow: These are offspring who listen to their parents and follow their advice without hesitation. They are responsive to guidance and are motivated to live according to their parents’ wishes. An offspring like this is considered to be born with good karma, as they naturally align with the values and wisdom passed down from their parents.
Offspring Who Resist: These offspring, despite being taught the right path, often rebel and go against their parents’ guidance. They struggle in life and live with difficulties, lacking a sense of purpose or healthy direction. Their spiritual and mental faculties are not fully developed, and they often live in a state of confusion or disarray. This type of offspring is also called spiritually paralyzed, indicating that their spiritual journey is obstructed by their resistance to guidance and wisdom.
Exceptional Offspring: These offspring may not receive much direct instruction, yet they surpass their parents’ expectations. They excel in areas their parents may not have even thought of, demonstrating remarkable wisdom, talent, and compassion. An offspring like this is seen as an exceptional being, with an inherently virtuous nature that is beyond ordinary. Exceptional offspring refers to offspring who are born with great merit and who contribute to the world in ways that surpass conventional understanding. Such offspring are rare and are considered a great blessing for the parents.
Reflection on Our Own Offspring
As parents, it’s important to reflect on which category our offspring fall into. Are they Offspring Who Follow, following our guidance naturally? Or are they Offspring Who Resist, resisting our efforts and causing us worry? Or, perhaps, are they Exceptional Offspring, exceeding our expectations in ways we did not anticipate?
If our offspring are Exceptional Offspring, this is a great blessing. These offspring are likely to have strong spiritual merit and were born with exceptional qualities, even though they may not have received much direct guidance from us. Such offspring are likely to bring profound positive influence to the world, and their presence is a reflection of the parents’ great fortune.
On the other hand, if our relationship with our offspring falls into the category of Offspring Who Follow or Offspring Who Resist, it reflects a karmic relationship based on our past actions, either in this life or in previous ones. The interactions between parents and offspring are often shaped by these karmic ties.
Addressing Karmic Debt and Improving Relationships
For those whose offspring may be more difficult and resistant (Offspring Who Resist), it is important to recognize that sometimes the challenges we face are tied to past karmic debts. If we have wronged our offspring in previous lives or have not fulfilled our duties as parents in some way, we may be experiencing the consequences of those actions.
In such cases, it is essential to turn to spiritual practice, particularly repentance, to address these karmic debts. Through sincere repentance, we can begin to reduce the negative karmic effects, soften the hearts of our offspring, and help them listen to us with more understanding. Over time, this practice can create a shift in the relationship, allowing for greater harmony and mutual respect.
The Power of Repentance and Mindfulness
When we engage in daily repentance, we purify our hearts and reduce the weight of past mistakes. This can lead to positive changes in how our offspring interact with us. With patience and consistent practice, we may notice that they start responding more positively, expressing gratitude and affection in ways that bring joy to our hearts. As an example, the offspring who once ignored or rejected our requests may eventually begin to listen and show appreciation, simply saying, “Thank you, mom, I’m hungry. Could you please make me something to eat?”
Conclusion
Parenting is not just about guiding our offspring in the right direction—it is also an opportunity for us to reflect on our own actions, purify our hearts, and address past karmic influences. Whether our offspring fall into the categories of Offspring Who Follow, Offspring Who Resist, or Exceptional Offspring, each of them offers us the chance to grow spiritually. Through mindfulness, repentance, and compassion, we can improve our relationships with our offspring, fostering peace and understanding in our family life.
Ultimately, parenting is a journey of self-improvement, and every challenge is an opportunity to cultivate greater wisdom, patience, and love. By practicing repentance and living with an open heart, we can bring about positive transformation not only in our own lives but also in the lives of our offspring.
Lesson by Venerable Thích Pháp Hoà