Parents sometimes need to show filial piety toward their children. Understanding the true meaning of filial piety fosters a healthier and more harmonious parent-child relationship.
As Parents, Sometimes We Must Tolerate
In a family, if the parents do not know how to be tolerant and refuse to understand their children, then that family will never be peaceful.
- Many parents believe that “I am the mother, I am the father, I don’t need to tolerate”, and that it is the children who must be filial and obedient.
- But in reality, parents also need to be filial to their children.
If everyone in the family wants to win and expects the other to yield, there will never be peace at home.
Filial Piety Is Not Just the Duty of Children
We often teach our children that they must be filial to their parents, but we forget that we ourselves also need to be filial to our children.
What is filial piety?
- Filial piety means treating each other well.
- When guests come to our house, we treat them well, and this is called hospitality.
- When there is food, we do not hide it but share it with others, and this is called sharing food.
So why is it that we cannot be filial to our children and only expect them to be filial to us?
Being filial to children doesn’t mean pampering them, but rather treating them well, loving them, listening to them, and understanding them. When parents know how to tolerate, and know how to behave properly, children will naturally be filial without being forced.
The Karmic Consequences of Filial Piety
In life, if we are not filial to others, then when we are in need, others will not help us.
- Neighbors who are not filial to each other, when disaster strikes, no one will care.
- If we treat others poorly, when we are in trouble, they won’t pay attention to us.
The same goes for the family. If parents only demand filial piety from their children, but fail to treat them with love, when the parents grow old, the children will not genuinely care for them.
Conclusion
Filial piety is not a one-sided responsibility of children, but rather mutual respect between parents and children, and between individuals.
If we want to have a harmonious family, parents must also know how to tolerate, how to love, not just demand one-sided filial piety from their children. When we understand this, family bonds will be stronger, and life will be peaceful.
Related lessons:
- karmic debt between parents and children
- Three Types of Offspring According to Karma in Buddhist Perspective
- Why the child who cares most for their parents is often overlooked?
This article is compiled based on a sermon by Venerable Thích Pháp Hòa
The Original Dharma Talk
Understand Filial Piety rightly (audio translated)
Below is his original lesson in Vietnamese
Hiểu đúng về chữ “Hiếu”
