Children are the old karma, the old debts of ours. There are two possibilities: one, they come into our lives for us to repay the debt to them; and two, they come to repay their debt to us. Whether we are repaying the debt or they are repaying ours, it is all karma. Without a debt, how could we meet? Some children come for us to repay the debt, and some come for them to settle their debt with us. There are children who bring us happiness, and there are those who cause us suffering—this is due to the individual karma of each person. Some children easily harmonize with us, while with others, just a few words can lead to conflict. Each child carries their own karma, and we should not hate them because of it. If we wish to resolve our karma, we must repent and eliminate it, not resist it.
- Why the child who cares most for their parents is often overlooked?
- Three Types of Offspring According to Karma in Buddhist Perspective
Even if the child does not understand the Dharma, we, as parents, must not oppose them if we understand the Dharma ourselves. If we keep using the excuse of being the parent and expect the child to obey, we will never resolve our karma. We must understand that if the child truly understood the Dharma, they would not behave this way. When interacting with our children, never let the excuse “I am the mother” stop us from practicing patience. As adults, sometimes we must bear the hardship to dissolve the karma between us and our children. If the child has made a mistake, we must be patient, wait for their anger to subside, and then talk to them. When the anger subsides, they will be more open to listening and changing.
Additionally, one way to help the child is by offering a cup of water, blessed with a mantra, every day, asking for the child to calm their temper and eliminate bad karma. We must also express peace in the way we live. When the child is angry, we should not react immediately but wait for them to calm down before having a conversation. Realizing that there is a shared karmic pattern between us and our children explains why they might be kind to strangers but act differently with us. To resolve this karmic enmity, the only way is to repent and eliminate the karma.
Lesson by Venerable Thích Pháp Hoà
