Why Do We Offer to the Deceased?
When a person leaves this world, they often have not accepted their departure and may still be trapped in confusion, attachments.
- Reciting sutras helps them liberate their spirit, letting go of attachments so they can be liberated.
- Offering food serves as a gesture of remembrance, allowing them to feel the care and love from the living.
The main purpose of offerings is not for the deceased to eat as the living do, but to help them release attachments and focus on their liberation.
- Dreams and Signs from the Deceased Loved One in Buddhism – Venerable Thich Phap Hoa
- How to Ease the Grief of Losing a Loved One? – Venerable Thich Phap Hoa
- Reincarnation, Karma, and How to Perform Ceremonial Prayers for the Deceased
Can the Deceased Really Eat?
The living eat in a physical manner, picking up food, chewing, and swallowing, which is called solid food.
The deceased do not eat in this way, but only experience the scent, which is called contact food.
- When offerings are made, the deceased do not consume food as the living do, but they can feel the remembrance from their loved ones spiritually.
- The essential part is not the food, but the sincere heart of the person making the offering.
Therefore, when making offerings to the deceased, it is not important how much is offered, but the sincerity and remembrance from the heart.
Do We Need to Offer Incense 24/7?
Many people believe that after someone passes, incense must be burned continuously because they return to visit, needing incense to gather.
In reality:
- There is no rule that requires incense to be burned continuously 24/7.
- In the past, when filial piety was highly emphasized, people kept the incense burning all day and night as a way to express remembrance.
- Today, circumstances have changed, and not everyone has the time or ability to maintain incense burning constantly.
There is no need to burn incense all day long, just offering once or twice a day with a sincere heart is sufficient.
The 49 Days Offering – How to Adapt to Modern Life?
Traditionally, loved ones would offer meals daily for 49 days after a death, as this is believed to be the time when the deceased is still wandering and undecided about their next birth.
However, today:
- Many people are busy with work and cannot make daily offerings.
- Sealing homes and burning incense continuously may be uncomfortable or harmful to health.
How to adapt to modern life:
- If possible, offer one incense stick each day, a small offering of rice or food to remember the deceased.
- If busy, offer in the evening after work, or simply offer a prayer or chant a sutra for the deceased, which also holds meaning.
- It is not about the quantity, but the sincerity of your heart.
Do Everything Comfortably, Not Under Pressure
The offering, sutra chanting, and incense burning must come from a sincere heart, not from being forced.
- If feeling pressured and doing it reluctantly, the offering loses its meaning.
- The deceased would not want to see their loved ones offering with discomfort in their hearts.
Do what is fitting for your circumstances, as long as it brings peace and joy to your heart. When making offerings with joy, the deceased can receive that joy.
Final Thought
- Offering to the deceased is not to feed them, but to remember and help them release attachments.
- The deceased do not eat as the living do, but experience through the scent (contact food).
- There is no need to burn incense 24/7, just offer it once or twice a day with a sincere heart.
- The 49 days offering can be flexible, as long as it fits the circumstances, and it is not necessary to offer meals every day.
- Do everything with comfort, from a joyful heart, not under pressure.
The most important thing is not the external form, but the sincerity and remembrance in your heart.
This article is compiled based on a sermon by Venerable Thích Pháp Hoà
The Original Dharma Talk
Offering to the Deceased in Buddhism – True Meaning and How to Perform It – Venerable Thich Phap Hoa
Below is his original lesson:
Người mới mất, nên cúng như thế nào? – Thầy Thích Pháp Hoà
