Feelings Are Not Permanent
When we meet someone we love, respect, and feel attached to, it doesn’t mean that the feelings will last forever. In life, if the other person finds someone better, more attractive, more capable, or more lovable, they might change. This is the nature of humans and worldly feelings.
Once we understand this, we will accept all changes without excessive suffering or regret. Conditions come, conditions go, everything has its own karmic cause.
Meeting Each Other Is a Condition, Living Together Is a Debt
- If two people meet, that is a condition.
- If they live together, that is a debt.
- If they only meet briefly, it is simply a passing condition in life.
- But when they live together for a long time, they begin to repay their debts to each other.
When living together, one cannot avoid complaints and demands from the other:
- “I’ve done so much, but you haven’t done anything!”
- “I cut the grass, why don’t you clean the house?”
- “I cook, why don’t you wash the dishes?”
In the beginning, when we first meet, feelings are still fresh, and we may not keep track of such things. However, over time, if there is no understanding and mutual support, resentments and complaints will arise.
The initial feelings may be pure, but as time passes, if there is no balance and mutual assistance, no matter how much love there is, it’s difficult to avoid the burdens of life together.
Understanding Will Help Us Overcome Suffering
When we understand the truths of life, we will no longer be bound by expectations or disappointments from others. The Buddha teaches:
- Any method that helps us gain wisdom and escape suffering is the path to light.
- When we listen to the teachings and recognize the path we need to take, we will overcome suffering.
It is like a difficult problem where we might be stuck in trying to solve it. But with a small guide, an insight, we can immediately find the solution.
In life, we too might feel trapped in suffering and entangled in relationships. But thanks to the teachings of the Buddha and the guidance from our teachers, we can see the bright path and find direction for ourselves.
The Dharma Lamp – The Light That Illuminates the Path
Anything that can guide us out of suffering and help us live peacefully is the light of wisdom. In Buddhism, the lamp that illuminates the path is called the Dharma Lamp.
The Dharma Lamp is not just an abstract concept; it is:
- The understanding of truth.
- The awareness of impermanence, karma, and suffering.
- The guidance to help us walk the right path and avoid getting lost.
Without the light guiding the way, we remain stuck in emotional turmoil, unfulfilled desires, and endless complaints. But when we ignite the lamp of wisdom, we will no longer suffer from things that are inherently governed by the law of impermanence.
Conclusion
Feelings in life are not permanent. Meeting someone is a condition, living together is a debt, and understanding is the key to liberation from suffering. If we know how to reflect and ignite the light of wisdom, we will no longer be trapped by the changes of life.
Let the Dharma Lamp illuminate the path we walk, helping us find peace in the union and separation of relationships, and discover freedom in all aspects of life.
This article is compiled based on a sermon by Venerable Thích Pháp Hòa
